The Loss of a Buddy



 

There is a wealth of information available to help people recover from the loss of a treasured companion animal.  There are even groups where people can get together and share their pain with people who feel similarly.  The last thing someone suffering the loss of a pet needs is to have someone say things such as:  It was JUST a dog!  Or, “Well, get another cat!” 

 

 

But, what about when a long time buddy dies and the remaining dog or cat is grieving?  There is almost no attention given to that issue yet the suffering can be very evident.  One case I learned about as I was investigating the issue is that of a Great Dane who simply lost the will to live.  No amount of effort could get the dog to eat and he lost 25 pounds!  Finally he showed some healthy responses when a pup was brought into the home.  He never formed the same connection with the newcomer but gained a reason to live.  Incidentally, that pup had to be a Great Dane!  No other dogs fit the bill. 

 

 

One suggestion that surfaced various times was to be certain to allow the remaining pet or pets to check out the dead animal instead of them simply dealing with a disappearance without warning. Cats and dogs often spend a great deal of time searching for their missing friend.   In some cases, when the dead companion was buried on home ground the surviving pet spent a lot of time visiting the site.

 

 

There are also things that may be helpful to the survivor.  One can give a flower essence treatment or use calming herbs such as valerian, skullcap, passion flower or Siberian ginseng.*  These are not be used indefinitely – just as an aid for the early indications of grieving.  Additional attention is valuable but use caution to not overdue it and make the remaining dog or cat totally dependent on the new showering of attention.  More problems may develop as the household returns to a more normal feeling and the extra attention is withheld!  Often people do no realize that they are giving so much attention to the survivor because THEY need the comforting.  Be aware of that problem.

 

 

If there are various other pets “misbehaving” could surface as the pack settles into a new ranking structure.  No punishing, please!  There are other ways to deal with the issues.

 

 

Try to add some new activity to the daily routine such as teach the dog (or cat!) some new exercises or tricks.  Change the route you take for daily walks so there are new smells and fewer reminders of the missing friend. 

 

 

Use caution when considering adding a new pet to the household.  Not all dogs or cats welcome newcomers and the addition may result in stress rather than a new friendship.  In fact, always use caution when adding a new pet to the household!  There are recommended procedures and take the time to learn what they are to avoid major upsets and even serious aggression in addition to stress for all concerned.

 

 

Take it seriously that your furry buddy is suffering a loss and give attention to the situation.  Of course, if they were not the best of friends Patches may be ready to have a party now that he is front and center and not having to deal with the newly departed whom he considered a very big nuisance and an unnecessary competitor for your prized attention!  Observe your pets.  They’ll tell you just what you need to know.

 

 

*Natural is not a guarantee of safety.  Always learn about the herbs you use and learn the proper way to use them. 

 

 

M 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Loss of a Buddy